Discovering True Joy Beyond Comparison

The world teaches us that worth is something we must earn. So we strive, compete, and chase validation. Scripture tells a different story. Our value was never meant to be measured against anyone else. We are each created on purpose for a purpose.

Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Ephesians 2:10 tells us we are God’s masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do the good works He prepared in advance for us. Our worth does not come from what we achieve. It comes from the fact that God formed us with intention, with purpose woven into who we are.

When we focus on what we lack and what others seem to have, comparison begins to rob us. Comparison pulls our joy away when our eyes stay fixed on someone else’s life instead of the path God has given us.

Comparison works the same way it often does at Christmas. A child opens a gift and feels thankful and excited. Moments later, a sibling opens theirs. The joy fades. The gift has not changed, but the focus has. What once felt like enough now feels small because someone else received something different. This is what comparison does. It turns gratitude into dissatisfaction by shifting our eyes from what we have been given to what someone else received.

Joy begins with perspective. When we lift our eyes from comparison and fix them on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, our hearts lift from the weight of comparison. The weight of the world does not disappear, it loses its power to crush us.

This kind of joy does not depend on circumstances going our way. It runs deep because it stands on truth. Truth like this: God is for us. He is with us. He is working, even when we cannot see it.

That is the kind of joy that sustains us. That is the kind of joy that cannot be stolen.

Sometimes joy is already present, yet we miss it because of the pace we keep. Hurry pulls our attention toward what comes next instead of where we are. Slowing our pace helps us notice what God has already placed around us. When we stop rushing, our eyes open to small gifts we would have passed by. Joy does not always arrive as something new. At times, it reveals what has been there all along.

Psalm 16:11 says, “You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” God does not promise a life without difficulty, but He does promise His presence. He shows us the path step by step, and joy flows from walking with Him. Being at His right hand means staying close, living beside Him, and allowing His presence to shape how we move through each day.

Christmas reminds us why joy is even possible. Jesus came to bring it. Not a shallow joy tied to circumstances, but a joy rooted in His presence. In John 15:11, Jesus says, “I have told you these things so that you may have the same joy I have, and so that your joy will be complete.”

This Christmas, my prayer is that His joy would fill your heart to the point of overflow. May it shape how you walk, guide your days, and pour into the lives of those around you.

Merry Christmas.

P.S. Did you see the gifts? Did you notice the gifts placed along the path? Take another look at the image above. Joy is often present, but it requires attention. As you move through this season, ask God to show you what He has already placed before you.

Candle glowing on a Christmas wreath with soft lights in the background

When December Holds Both Joy and Grief: Finding Hope and Comfort at Christmas

Many of us enter December with unmet expectations. Many people search for Christmas joy while carrying grief at the same time. The holidays can stir memories of loss, loneliness, and family changes, even when we long for peace and connection. If you are navigating grief at Christmas or walking through a holiday season that looks different from the one you imagined, you are not alone.

Searches rise every year for phrases like how to handle grief during the holidays, finding joy when Christmas feels hard, and Christian encouragement for grief at Christmas. These searches reveal how many people feel both joy and sorrow in December. The season can hold tender memories, unspoken expectations, and a longing for hope that feels out of reach.

They call this the most wonderful time of the year, yet many of us step into December carrying expectations we cannot meet. We picture the Hallmark version of the holidays. A glowing home. A happy family gathered around a table. Laughter. Warm connection. Simple joy. Life does not always follow that picture. Not every family feels united. Not every heart enters December with ease.

Some walk into this season with loss. Some feel the ache of an empty seat at the table. Some face a home that changed in ways they never expected. Some feel lonely while the world celebrates. Some hold joy and grief at the same time.

I love Christmas. I love the lights and the wonder. Yet this month carries sorrow for me. Both my husband and my mother died during the Christmas season. Not in the same year, yet close enough that grief settled into this time of year.

I did not understand how deeply my children carried it until much later. Every year, right after Thanksgiving, something shifted in our home. The atmosphere felt heavy. My children grew emotional and easily upset. Arguments surfaced. Restlessness filled the days. I could not name it at the time. Yet the pattern returned every year. Beginning at Thanksgiving. Easing on Christmas Eve.

Over time I recognized what their hearts kept trying to express. They moved toward the anniversary of their dad’s death. They did not have words for it. Their emotions remembered what their minds could not explain. The weight of it shaped the entire month. And every Christmas Eve, the day he died, the tension loosened. Not gone, yet lighter.Light enough for us to breathe. Light enough for joy to find us during Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Joy did not replace grief. Grief did not replace joy. They remained side by side.

The Real Story of December

We do not need to force holiday joy. We do not need to match a perfect picture to belong in this season. We do not need to hide the truth of our hearts for joy to reach us. Biblical joy never depended on perfect circumstances. It does not silence sorrow.

It grows in the very places where we lean on God. Joy entered a world marked by pain and loss. Joy stepped into darkness and claimed it from within. Joy arrived where hope was weary.

If This Season Feels Heavy

So if December feels complicated for you, you are not alone. If joy rises slowly, you are not alone.

If grief returns in ways you did not expect, you are not alone. Joy does not wait for a perfect story. It does not require a life without pain. Joy simply invites you to remember that God stays near. He stays with you in the memories, in the heaviness, in the waiting, and in every part of this season.

This year I am learning to let joy and grief walk together. I am learning that both can remain without fighting for space. And I am learning that the joy God gives stands firm even when my heart feels tired.

If this season feels tender for you, I pray you sense His care. I pray you notice small moments of joy along the way. I pray you remember how deeply loved you are.

Finding Joy in Loneliness

I said goodbye to Florida and everything it held for me. I left my children, my friends, my church, and the home I last shared with my husband. I stepped away from the familiar and entered a new season in Georgia, drawn by the cooler weather and four seasons. For the first time in 40 years, I faced life alone.

            Approaching Atlanta felt surreal, the packed highways were empty. Signs warned travelers to stay home, limit contact and go out only when necessary. Covid had taken over. It didn’t seem like such a big deal in Florida.  Another story altogether here in Georgia. The entire state went into lockdown when I arrived.

            In the weeks that followed, I found isolation, empty streets, masked faces, and silence. I didn’t know anyone and there was very little opportunity to meet anyone. I had no way of knowing how long this season would last. A fresh start quickly became a time of sitting in my living room, day after day, wondering if I had made the wrong decision. I tried to make the most of it. I went on long walks in the park, stayed busy with creative projects in the house.  Eventually, even those things stopped feeling like enough. Being an extrovert, a lack of connection wore on me.  I spent a lot of time talking to the Lord, asking for wisdom and I cried many tears during those months, asking God why He had brought me here. It felt like my life was on hold.  

            One day I couldn’t take it anymore. I just needed to get out of the house, so I decided to run an errand. I had something to return at a store, and that felt like reason enough to leave. As I pulled into the parking lot and walked toward the store, something stirred in me. I felt it so clearly, go to Hobby Lobby. I must have heard wrong because I didn’t need anything from Hobby Lobby.  So, I continued on toward the store where I needed to make my return, I heard it again, go to Hobby Lobby. Why I asked? Just go.  So, finally I went.

            I went in and wondered what I was doing there. Maybe meet a new friend?  I wandered around the store, walking up and down aisles, and the whole time I kept asking, why am I here? I didn’t need anything and yet I felt compelled to keep looking, aisle after aisle.

            At one point, I came to the end of an aisle, I saw it and knew why God brought me there. There on the wall was a floral scripture print with the words, “I am with you always.” The moment I saw it, I knew. God had brought me into this store to find this one simple reminder. God reminded me I wasn’t alone. He had seen me sitting in my living room crying. He knew the tears I had cried wondering if I had made a mistake moving here. He knew the loneliness. He knew the ache of leaving my children behind, my friends, and the life I had built. He knew how hard this new beginning had been, even though it was supposed to bring joy.

            I bought the picture and took it home. I hung it right by the door so I would see it coming in and going out. A reminder every single day that no matter how I felt, God’s promise hadn’t changed. He was with me.

            The words on that picture weren’t random. They came straight from Scripture, from Matthew 28:20. It’s the very last thing Jesus said to His disciples before He returned to heaven. He told them, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Those words weren’t just meant for the disciples standing there at the time. They are meant for all of us who follow Him. In those lonely months, when I felt forgotten, invisible, and unsure of what my future would look like, this verse reminded me of a truth I needed to hold onto, I was not alone, and I would never be alone. Not in a pandemic. Not in a new state. Not even in my own tears. His words carried a promise to me, just as much as they did to them.

            I began to see that joy isn’t always found in new friendships or busy calendars. Sometimes joy looks like a simple picture hanging by the door, reminding me that God’s presence is always with me. I started paying attention to the small ways joy was already around me. On my walks through the parks, I noticed flowers I hadn’t seen before, vines climbing where I didn’t expect, and little details in nature that seemed forgotten. Creation itself reminded me of God’s beauty and care. During those lonely times, I sensed Him telling me “I’m here. If you look for me, you will find me.” So, I started looking. And when I looked, I found Him, not just in big moments, but in small one, everywhere I turned.

            If you’re in a season where joy feels hard to find, I want to remind you, you are not alone. God’s presence is with you, right where you are. Sometimes the smallest moments hold the greatest reminders. Keep looking. Keep expecting. You’ll find Him there.

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13)

The Journey to Joy

I’m so glad you’re here. This blog is a space for joy-seekers, for women who long to live with purpose, delight in the everyday, and find the kind of joy God always intended, even when life feels heavy.

Let’s be honest, we carry responsibilities, fears, unanswered questions that weigh us down. Here is the good new: joy isn’t canceled. Just because life is hard doesn’t mean joy is gone. It’s still available. It is still promised. It’s worth chasing.

In Psalm 16:11, we’re reminded: “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” This verse anchors everything I hope this blog becomes. Joy isn’t a temporary feeling or a reward for having it all together. It’s found in the presence of God. And even when life is confusing, painful, or heavy, He still leads us on the path of life, step by step, moment by moment. If you have ever wondered whether joy could be real for you, this verse offers a holy yes.

That’s what this blog is all about. Not perfect answers to polished lives that hide the mess underneath. Just small sacred steps toward the kind of joy that shows up in quiet moments, belly laughs, answered prayers and even in the middle of the unknown.

Jesus said in John 15:11, “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” As I pondered this, I stopped at the word complete and looked it up. In the Greek, complete means to fill to the brim. Can you imagine living life where you are filled with so much joy that it overflows? This kind of joy doesn’t depend on how we feel, our moods, or whatever is happening in our lives. It is a joy that grows as we spend time with Him.

The Bible tells us “the joy of the Lord is our strength” (Nehemiah 8:10). Not our own joy. Not our own strength. His. That’s what makes this journey possible. Joy doesn’t come from striving, it comes from staying connected to the One who gives it.

Joy isn’t a destination. It’s a daily invitation. And I would love to walk that road with you. So grab your coffee, exhale deeply and let’s begin this journey together.

Here’s to joy,

Famia